You can't escape yourself but sometimes...

 

The Ultimate Escape

trapped in your head by elmuerteunicorn74-dab3qkc at deviantart

I'm my own worst enemy. Most of my (life-long) issues are between my ears. Anxiety depression etc. 

When I wrote this four months ago, I was frustrated by it and came up with a type of solution.

Oh for God's Sake

 

It’s reached this point

As all drastic solutions do

Through a process

Of time funnelling

That realisation strikes

That the only true escape

Can be made possible

By ghosting myself.

 

I’ll shut myself

Down and out

Refuse to respond

Accept the inevitable

Acceleration

Borne of desperation

While burrowing into that hole

Head down

Arse up

Refuting acknowledgement

No matter

How hard the pounding.

 

Surely

I’ll get the hint eventually.

 

25.3.24

5.45 pm

(I was to get far worse over the following 3 months).

 

How nice it would be to be able to ghost yourself!

I think I am actually a good man. People tell me that a lot. I'm the one who struggles being within this frame.

'Caged without Walls' is a metaphor for not being able to escape yourself. It's the title of my 2013 poetry collection. The line comes from a poem in the book, I can't recall which. (Now 40% off).

This year, 2024 has been one of the worst for it. I had a difficult break-up with my girlfriend. I acknowledge much of it was my own reactions and fears. What actually matters is that my daughter is okay. My work is okay. I'm paying my bills and surviving, unlike many. My life is actually okay. But if your head isn't well, then it's a potential nightmare.

Indeed some people don't survive it at all. I hit a very low point this year. The lowest of my life. I was lucky to get out of it. I'm still struggling but working hard on getting better. I have a long ways to go for sure.

Ghosting

Do you have practices to improve your moods? Can you identify with wanting to escape, not just a situation but yourself? I'd love to hear your experience. And maybe learn from you. Despite everything I've read and heard over 'self-care' etc, I still need to hear it. And everyone's experience is not the same. 

More Poetry

A.J. Langford Books

I hope you have some peace in your life. It may be the most precious thing of all.

Until next time,

Anthony.