(Gross Alert - But not too Gross you can't handle it. There's plenty worse. Trust me!)
Live Market - Fast Food Style.
Due to the popularity of the 'Live Market' as seen in parts of Asia, where anything, and everything goes, (sanctioned by the World Health Organisation), the Live Market is coming to a Fast Food Outlet Near you!
WHO = WOW!
MukDonalds are selling McMouse Burgers
and if you're really hungry, McMonkey!
Burger Kims Now have Onion and Eye Rings!
Dipped in delicious Tartare of Testicle Sauce.
You can still have traditional Tomato Sauce but for you ravenous Carnivores,
Try our Tortoise Sauce!
Juicy!
Order online and we'll run those little critters directly to your door.
On a leash!
For you health conscious freaks,
try our delicious Snail and Slug Smoothies!
On a leash!
For you health conscious freaks,
try our delicious Snail and Slug Smoothies!
Got a little meat in your teeth?
Try our new Goanna Feet toothpicks!
Wipe it all up with stretched Bat Wings.
Clean as a licked Bison Butt!
Still hungry?
How about a Quarter Pounder of Python?
Y u M !!!!
Rat Rolls
Cat Kebabs
There's really no end to what you can eat.
As Arnie Schwarzenegger said in Predator,
'If it breathes, we can eat it.'
Want Dessert?
How about Snake Souffle or Possum Pie?
Feel like something cold?
Try a frozen frog on a stick!
Suck those eyeballs for hours.
If you can't finish it all, don't worry. We have a real life
Doggie Bag. Just pick him up by his 4 feet and you're good to go!
Now put on your best dancing shoes (or emptied bear feet) and sing along with our new Live Market song!
Bat Soup
Oh Bat Soup
Bat Soup
It is such
Lovely Goop
Drop that Bat in
Feet first
(Any other way
And you'll be cursed).
His ugly head
Is great to eat
Last thing of course
Is the feet!
Best of all
Is the wings
Like licorice rubber
Oh you'll sing
Once you're wearing
That vampire grin.
Bat Soup, Bat Soup!
There's different species
Or order the whole troop!
Bring a friend
To get a free side of Turtle
But only if
They arrive in Purple!
If you order through our new AnimalEats App, you can enter our Competition to win one of many free tickets to your local zoo. See your prospective next meal live in it's own habitat. The perfect way to work up a carnivorous appetite!
Get your teeth into this!
#LiveMarketLicensedByW.H.O.
W.H.O.: 'We might have allowed a worldwide pandemic, but at least we're not culturally insensitive!'
W.H.O. W.H.O. What are they good for? Absolutely nothin. Say it again!'
Covid20 coming to a planet near you soon!
More Satire
No comments:
Post a Comment
Like what you read? Please Share. Without you I is nothing.