Brexiteers: The Only Solution

Brexiteers: The Only Solution

This story first appeared in the Telegraph Post, November 29, 2019

by Robert Mandel, UK
'It was great for the protest. Now what the fuck do we do with it?

Unable to agree on whether to leave the European Union or not, Britain has opted to agree on one thing; that they cannot agree.

“There’s only one viable solution left to us,’ said one Tory member anonymously. ‘We are drawing up plans to divide Britain, much like Ireland. The I’s will have it. And the No’s will have it.”

A leaked source shows that blueprints have already been drafted, with the British public soon to be able to vote on the new plans. One half of Britain will stay with the E.U., the other half will become the Independent States of Britain. ISIB.

No doubt there will be much contention but as some people on the street we’ve already spoken to, think it’s the only way to satisfy everybody.

‘An excellent idea. We should have done it years ago.’

You went to the same printer, didn't you? 

‘It’s a truly superb notion. I can shop locally and spend my good old English pounds then I can go across the border and spend some Euro’s without having the nuisance of long-distance travel. Wonderful!’

‘I’m all for it mate. Hate mixing with those bloody whiners anyway. The majority get the vote but that’s not good enough for ‘em. They hate democracy. They’re bloody fascists is what they are!’

This lot just confused everybody

Some are saying that England should remain for the English and palm Scotland off to the E.U. ‘No one really wants them anyway,’ said one conservative.

We asked one local M.P., with a sense of flippancy, 'Will you build a wall?' He replied, quite seriously, 'That's a bit much but a barb wired fence might be useful.'

According to one source, the entire process has already cost 78 billion pounds. Thus far. 

From what we’ve already seen, though attractive to some, this solution won’t work. The only logistical notion is to divide all four Semi-Nations, England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland down the middle. Half of the territory to each half. 

Now some will argue that London, being a powerhouse of economic earnings, will be an unfair advantage to those who possess it. So a possible solution is to exclude London from this division by simply dividing London in half. The same could be applied to other major cities like Edinburgh and Cardiff. Or simple divide every single town into two. Instead of having one town butcher, there could be two! This could stimulate all economies. A logical solution. Also a logistical nightmare.

Make Britain Hate Again
(Kind of achieved already)

While many hope for an easier way forward, it’s clear that democracy is just not viable in the modern day. As soon as one party wins an election, the other says the system must be rigged and everyone is at each other's throats. Unless people opt for a Communist/Socialist State, which may not be so far-fetched, then sanctioned division may be the only way to quell the discontent. Or jump the ten year queue and join the China/Russia Super States. Communism is coming anyway.

For now...

Will the Brexiteers have it, or the Musketeers?

Follow the discussion at ...

#DivisionIsUnity

#RebuildAdriansWall

#BarbWireIsTheNewBlack

#DemocracyIsSo20thCentury

#BackInTheUSSR

#China1TheWest0