I’m working on scripts for several pilots…
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| Yep, they're just like us |
Reality TV
A goldmine of cheap production and crappy ideas, shipped internationally, remade locally, for endless season after season. No quality writing required. Get a bunch of superficial, so called good looking arso-holics, put them together and video the result.
I thought I'd cash in on this phenomenon.
The first idea is a take on My Kitchen Rules.
My Toilet Rules
A panel sits around (and on) the bowl and see who can deliver
the best number twos. Points to be judged on; consistency, texture, smell and
um, taste. Ensure that the contestants are also assholes, to make sparks (and flatulence) fly.
Dancing with the Cars
Find the most annoying contestants, and the busiest motorway
and have them perform complex dances across it (and hopefully, removing them
from the gene pool before they breed).
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| Auditioning for Dancing with the Cars. Folks, we have a winner! |
The Really Real Housewives (and Husbands)
Film some actual housewives (or dudes), of lowly income,
doing it tough with a whole bunch of kids, no cleaners, or airs and graces, no hairspray,
lippie, foundation or man gel. Instead highlight vacuuming, sweeping, doing
dishes, washing and hanging out clothes, making kids lunch, dealing with
screaming, crying, ass wiping, pets tearing up the furniture and stuff like that. You know, the shit that
normal people have to do.
Cops (Off Duty)
Follow these cops as they come home from the front line,
grab a beer or soda pop, plop their ass on the couch and watch the football, maybe shred a dumbbell, eat some chips then burp, fart and scratch their sweaty bits.
The Fake News
It’s the polar opposite of what happens now, (Fox NEWS, CNN, wherever). So we call it The Fake News, but make it as truthful and unbiased as possible. If it all possible.
Actually, forget it.
Married at First Blight,
Divorced at First Argument
Fitting in with the times, with people being unable to get past any difficulties in relationships. We find out who can stomach a difference of opinion, and who pussies out the fastest. Use real people in love, but whom love themselves more.
The Bachelor
Follow an ugly, obese, filthy loser and discover why he’s a Bachelor… and likely to remain one.
The Bachelorette
See above.
The Jersey Shore Cliff
Find the most vain, narcissistic, awfully plastic people possible, take them to the Cliffs of Jersey Shore and last one down, (in the fastest way possible) is the winner.
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| The first series ended quickly as they all wanted to win so badly that they pushed each other off in a mass extinction event. The winner? The audience! |
Project Runway
Take a bunch of superficial skinny ass models, and drop them
in a country plagued by famine to see what it's like to really starve.
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| Freelances in a school Science class as a skeleton. |
Coming soon,
A New Video in the wonderful series of Nostalgia Videos of an era we'll never see again,
An addition in the surprising and rather sad series, Famous After Death
My Short Film UNTOLD from 1997 on the confusion of Political Correctness and interpersonal relationships
plus more...! But no steak knives.
My toilet rules reminds me of a story I heard the other day that astronauts on one of the first skylab missions had to measure, weigh and test their stools (poos) to discover how much calcium a person secreted in space. I was stunned when I saw a new show about women giving birth, honestly who would watch that? I wonder if we will ever have one on the most creative suicide.
ReplyDeleteIt seems theyll do anything for cheap programming. No shortage of people lining up to be famous for 5mins. I find it sickening.
DeleteThe documentary style stuff is more interesting but its disheartening to think so many are watching this rubbish. Poo in space indeed. Poo on the screen too.
I'd watch almost all of them (probably couldn't stomach My Toilet Rules), but I definitely think Dancing with the Cars, The Jersey Shore Cliff, and Project Runway have real life potential.
ReplyDeleteI'd love to see them too! Thank you for commenting Clamzilla.
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