Damaged, not yet dust
You know that feeling
You get sometimes
That melancholic wave
More like a surge
Coming up from your gut
It’s been sitting
there for days
Weeks really
Bubbling away
Doing its thing in the background
And you know you’re not
Doing so well
But you’ve been doing your best
To pretend it’s not there
Even though it never really leaves you.
Then one hour
It arrives
And suddenly
It’s all there is
It’s completely taken over
One little thing
Just pushed you down
And you’re now so tired
No
Exhausted
Completely deflated
Not only do you
Have nothing to give
You can barely function
Even for yourself.
You feel cut off
Alone
Somehow persecuted
And you’re abruptly crying
And all that weight
You’ve been carrying
For so long
Crushes you
And you’re sobbing now
Thinking the very worst
Of everything
Unable to move
Unable to face any of it
Anymore.
It has control
Not you
You’re a prisoner to it
It feels like death
Like it’s a logical option.
If you’ve had that
I’m sorry my friend
We just want someone
To take it all away
To hold us
And promise
That things will improve.
You’re so desperate
For any other kind
Of existence
You’ll damn well
Do anything.
It passes
It always does
At least for a while
As empty as you feel
You’re more relaxed now
Expelled that build up
Though the existential flatness
Remains
Like a curse.
It may not go away
Not until things change
Which they will
In time
As everything does.
Just know
If you feel that deeply
It’s a reflection
Of the good person you are
And I guarantee
As it is for me too
That it’s not your fault.
Sometimes…
We just break a
little.
21.5.26 11.30
pm.
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