Love and Regret - An ongoing story

No introduction needed. It's clear what it represents. 

Not only for where I'm at now, but for others who have been through similiar, contemplating it, or never to experience it. 

I'm an emotional person. Perhaps too sensitive. But I don't shy away from that. 

Love, regret and reality

 

Sitting alone

With my thoughts

Her

On Repeat

Imagined scenarios

(What you might be up to)

And possibilities of Us

Never to be.

 

I am the Composer

Of my own pain Orchestra

Caught in the sound cycle

Unable to down volume.

 

I don’t know how

To switch it off.

 

The most intense relationship

I’ve experienced

It almost killed me

My nervous system collapsed

I didn’t want to live

I couldn’t see a way out.

 

Yet now,

I bypass the damaging behaviours

And think solely

Of your many good traits

And your beauty

And your touch

The love we shared

Knowing

I’ll never hold you again.

It kills me.

 

Actioned by me

Believing,

Rightly

That there was no other option.

 

I gave it my all

And more

It brought me undone

Yet, I miss you

And wish against reality’s

Unflinching harshness

That there

Could have been

Another way.

 

 

4.1.26  11.50 pm

More Poetry

AJL Books

Top 20 Songs of 2025 - No. 10 - 1

 

Here they are, the Top Ten. Give them a listen and I'm sure you'll know some, if not all of these. Some really beautiful work here. 

Top 20 Songs of 2025

No. 10

Haim - Down to be wrong

No. 9

SAINT MOTEL -
Room With A View (For the End of the World)

No. 8 

The Baxbys - In a Cage

New band, only 500 subscribers. Give them a go!

No. 7

Men Without Hats -  I ❤️ The 80s

From the band that brought you the classic Safety Dance comes a brilliant homage to the 80s!

No. 6

Ash  - Which One Do You Want

Irish late 90's lad are back with a cracker!

No. 5

Sam Fender - Remember My Name

I edited a video using this song for my Grandmother who passed away in March.

It will always be a special song for me. It was special before that, that's why I chose it. Beautiful.

No. 4

Lewis Capaldi -  Almost

I broke up with my partner a month ago and this song hit hard for me. 

The lyrics are poignant, except I went one step further than 'almost'. 

It was still heartbreak, a decision I did not want to make.

No. 3

The Temper Trap - Giving Up Air

Easily their best song since 2008's brilliant Sweet Disposition.

No. 2

Conan Gray - Vodka Cranberry

A beautiful gay ballad. Love is universal. 

So is heartbreak.

No. 1

Ball Park Music - Please Dont Move To Melbourne

A great song and very Aussie, very Brisbane!

Many creatives move to Melbourne or Sydney, especially bands to make a career for themselves.

I liked it the first time I heard it but the more I listened throughout the year, it just got better and better, like a good wine. 

I love the vibe too.

So great to have two Aussie songs in the Top 3.

No bias though. I just went with what I loved the most.

If you missed it;  Numbers 20 - 1

Here's my extended Best of '25 Playlist

with 95 Videos

American group and sisters - HAIM

Anthony J. Langford Books | Australian writer

Music has been my one saviour and passion throughout my life. 

Aged three in the 70's at my grandparents place. 

May 2026 be a wonderful year for you.

May peace come to the world and to our lives. 

Peace

Anthony

Top 20 Songs of 2025 - No. 20 - 11

 

Top 20 Songs of 2025 

No. 20

IceCream Hands - Back on the Road

No. 19

Floodlights - The Light Won't Shine Forever

No. 18

SYML - Careful

No. 17

Easy Bear - Ruin the Day

No. 16

Miami Horror - Glowin'

No. 15 

Pulp - Spike Island

No. 14

Spacey Jane - Whateverrrr

No. 13

Holly Humberstone - Die Happy

No. 12

Middle Monster - No More Birthdays

No. 11

The Tullamarines - Lying

No. 10 - 1 Soon....

Anthony J. Langford Books | Australian writer

Bondi Beach Aftermath - A personal walk through

 Bondi Tribute

The tragedy took place Sunday night. On Wednesday I felt I wanted to pay tribute.

Let the images tell the story. In order of how I experienced it. I wrote in a sympathy card. I thought it would last longer than flowers. Perhaps it will be kept. Merely one of thousands who wanted to pay their respects. 

Beautiful Bondi - From the Southern end

Very similiar bridge - This is the Southern one

The guy with the hat received sharpnel in his back. 
He talked about what happened and how he was interviewed by CH.7
and everything he said about why it happened, anything deemed political
was edited out.

The Northern bridge, where the horror unfolded.

I felt like I could do more. I spoke to some people, a young Jewish man who had just come from a funeral, police, Red Cross volunteers, thanking them and decided I could leave a message of hope.

Short Video at Bondi.

 

To all the victims

Sunday, 14th of December at 6.47 pm

 

The Best Worst Christmas Movie of All Time!

 

So Terrible it's utter genius.

Best Xmas movie ever!

You'll be laughing too, except at them, not with.
(That's Pia Zadora in the middle)

Even the blockhead Droppo can't beleive how bad the script is.
(Ironically, one of the few actors to actually go on and have a career). 

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. 1964

(Also known as Santa Claus Versus the Martians)

I've watched it every year (at least once) for twenty years straight. Absolutely hilarious! Always finding something new to laugh at. A classic!

'Oh me, on my!' Mrs Claus and the elves are 'frozen'
by the Martians, just before Santa is kidnapped.
The performance by Mrs Claus alone is worth watching. Her laughter is insane!

The children of Mars are without humour or fun, programmed with too much tech (a premonition for today), and so a group of Martians decided to set off for Earth to kidnap Santa to bring some joy back home.

It is a kid's film so some of it is supposed to be funny but it's funny in all the wrong places. The humour is so terrible that it has to be seen to be beleived. Some terrible one liners. Shocking acting. Terrible sets and action (the polar bear and Robot are particularly bad), but the whole thing just has so many terrible moments that it's actually extremely entertaining. If you can laugh your way through a film, it's worth every second.

Torg, the scariest man in a cardboard box Robot ever depicted on screen!

It's a staple film in our household and has been played every Christmas since first 'discovering' it on SBS around 2005. So that means I've seen it at least twenty times as some years we played it twice! I swear every time I watch it, I discover some other hilarious moment.

Short YouTube Trailer

Frighteningly realistic North Pole set, along with a frighteningly realistic robot!

Do yourself a favour and make it a must watch. It's only 80 mins and is seriously some of the best entertainment you'll ever see. It's harmless of course so you can't hate on it but instead, find it endearing in its own unique, terrible way.

Ah, they'll never find us in the Radar Box!

Worth noting it stars a young Pia Zadora who, twenty years later would be starring in some fairly bad risque films, like Butterfly (1981) and The Lonely Lady (1983) thanks to her rich husband who funded the films. Unlike her clothes in these films, her career never took off.

The entire film was shot in just 4 days at Michael Myerberg Studios, a converted aircraft hangar at Roosevelt Field in Long Island, New York. It's now a shopping mall. Explains some of the terrible staging. 4 days is actually quite remarkable! 

End Credits Theme Song, 
Also a Classic!
Look at those inventive lyrics!

Watch Santa & the Martians for FREE on YOUTUBE

It has a huge cult following.

You'll be in too, once you watch it!

"I'll blow-wave you to death, Santy!"
Zoldar, the funniest villian ever.

Terrorist racist scum target families on Bondi Beach

 

Paradise turns to Hell

Like many in Sydney, we learnt of this only minutes after it started. We watched it slowly unfold. 

We know alot more now and more words won't change what happened. You have your own opinion. What we can all agree on, is that evil exists. Hate is universal. Perverted ideologies are universal. 

The following is a simple display of photographs. Thoughts with the people who died, the thirty or so injured, and the thousands who were in the area. So many traumatised for life. This can not be undone. Our country will not be the same. 

Mass panic

This amazing hero is a 42yo fruit shop owner, Ahmed, who was shot. He will be okay.

It doesn't get more personal than families on Bondi Beach.

On a special day, Hanukkah, near Christmas. 

Fuck these scumbags.

This is Post Number 800.

Is it a bad time of year? What are your plans for Christmas?

 

'It's beginning to look a lot like...'

Ah STFU. 

At this time of year, we're all supposed to be oh so happy and love it, but let's be honest, Christmas isn't for everyone. For some it's just plain shitty. For others, its desperately depressing. 

She may have destroyed a whole family, but at least she's smiling.

If it's diverse, it's gotta be good!

A good reason for the bottle.  At least they're honest!  Families can suck!

What's it mean to you? 

What are your plans this year?

Watch the New Trailer on YouTube

My Books are all on Sale!

Get in quick, just in time!

Australia only. Too late for overseas. 

Apologies to the millions waiting 🤣

At least one of them had sense

Oh, what am I doing? Thanks for asking . All of my family are in Victoria and I'm in N.S.W. so I have no plans, other than my daughter will be coming Christmas evening. It'll just be her and I over the break. Or should I say, her, her laptop and I .  I may be working the week before NYE, I don't know. So at least I won't be totally alone over Christmas but I know many will be. 

Tell me what you'll be up to. It's nice to share.

Have a good week.

Peace.

Anthony

Anthony J. Langford Books | Australian writer

Best Songs of 2025