Thank you

 

Happy Christmas - Wherever you are in life, may you find some peace. If not, joy at this time.

In Space, No One can Hear Your Sleigh

It's not always great for everyone. Especially as we age and lose people and our health. If not, remember the ones that were good. There were many.

Thank you for your support this year, those few who have interacted with this site and me. 

Thank you. 

May the year to come be a good one for you. 

Peace

Anthony

A.J. Langford Books

Oh God, they're at it again... His n Hers - A Video

 

'It's your fault!'

It's the age old argument. Literally and figuratively. 

I wrote this in November, 2014, exactly a decade ago. I made the video in 2022. Time to share it with you. Nice and short. Love to hear your thoughts.

Watch on YouTube HERE

Please consider one of my books. All are on sale. From my first novel, Lone Wolf World, to story and poetry collections, there's something for everyone. 

A.J. Langford Books

A.J. Langford Books

What did you think? 

Let me know. 

Or don't 😼- I'm not taking it down. No matter what people say. Nope. Not even with begging. 

Okay, maybe a little begging will earn a consideration... 😉

He died far too young. Famous After Death - But not in name

Famous After Death

John William Polidori

John William Polidori was an author and a doctor. He died aged only 25.

He was born on 7 September 1795 in London and received his degree as a doctor of medicine on 1 August 1815, aged just 19.

The following year, Dr. Polidori entered Lord Byron's service as his personal physician and accompanied him on a trip through Europe. Publisher John Murray offered Polidori 500 English pounds to keep a diary of their travels. Polidori's nephew William Michael Rossetti later edited them. At the Villa Diodati, a house Byron rented by Lake Geneva in Switzerland, the pair met with Mary Wollstonecraft Godwin, her husband-to-be, Percy Bysshe Shelley, and their companion (Mary's stepsister) Claire Clairmont.

Frontispiece from the original German version of Fantasmagoriana.

One now famous June night they read aloud from Fantasmagoriana, a French collection of German horror tales. Byron suggested they each write a ghost story. Percy Bysshe Shelley wrote 'A Fragment of a Ghost Story' and wrote down five ghost stories recounted by Matthew Gregory "Monk" Lewis, published posthumously as the Journal at Geneva (including ghost stories) and on return to England, 1816, the journal entries. 

Mary Shelley worked on a story with her husband that would later become Frankenstein. Byron wrote but quickly abandoned, a fragment of a story, 'A Fragment', featuring a character called Augustus Darvell. Polidori later used this as the basis for his own story, 'The Vampyre', the first published modern vampire story.

Polidori's conversation with Percy Bysshe Shelley on 15 June 1816 is regarded as the origin of Frankenstein. They discussed 'the nature of the principle of life.'  'Shelley and I had a conversation about principles - whether man was to be thought merely an instrument.'

 

Dismissed by Byron, Polidori traveled in Italy and then returned to England. His story, 'The Vampyre', which featured the main character Lord Ruthven, was published in the April 1819 issue of New Monthly Magazine without his permission. Much to both his and Byron's annoyance, 'The Vampyre' was released as a new work by Byron. Byron's own vampire story 'Fragment of a Novel' or 'A Fragment' was published in 1819 in an attempt to clear up the confusion, but 'The Vampyre' continued to be attributed to him.

Polidori's long, Byron-influenced theological poem The Fall of the Angels was published anonymously in 1821.

Polidori, weighed down by depression and gambling debts, died in London on 24 August 1821. Despite strong evidence that he committed suicide by means of prussic acid, the coroner concluded that he had died by natural causes.

 

Other people who became Famous After Death

A.J. Langford Books

A damn weird video. What is it? What does it mean?

 

I made this art video in 2013. I don't recall my thought processes or what it was all for other than I like trees and videoing and being creative. Less so these days but at the time I was very productive. The soundtrack added another element.

I thought I'd share it after it's been sitting on my hard-drive for 11 years.

As to what it means, you decide. Then perhaps let me know your interpretation.

A direct shot from the video

Watch on YT Here

My YouTube Channel

A.J. Langford Books

The ultimate human right - Suicide

 

Three months ago, (Aug.) I was in a very dark place. (Most of 2024 has been awful). I thought I had emerged but seemed to have taken a significant step back lately. I was never going to share this but fuck it. It is what it is. Oversharing perhaps. But it's not a bad poem (I barely write anymore) and makes a point I'd like to pass on to you.

The Inevitable

 

When the day comes

Know it was no-one’s fault

Least of all mine

There were other options

I felt explored already

So don’t be angry

I wasn’t selfish

It was a Mercy Act

Overdue

Not taken many years earlier

For the sake of others.

 

We all get there

In the end

Ageing deterioration

In this state

Felt too much to bear.

 

We are all ultimately

In a ‘I Now’ reality

Irrespective of others

No how close the bond.

 

We’re merely Caged

Without Walls

Weighed down

By our mortal limitations

And I pushed mine

To its last.

 

I hope your structure

Is ultimately kinder

To its fragile host.

 

12.8.24

11pm.

 

 

 

That statement is very true for me. I'm hanging on. But it's exhausting. Every day is a endurance test. I'm in survival mode. I do want a record, just in case. But I really hope to look back and be thankful that I persevered. And maybe be embarrassed that I shared this at all. I could live with that. (Yes, a little black humour).

(I also have bipolar 2 and serious side effects from medication which compound my internal distress). 

Speaking of life expectancy for people with mental health issues. I just found this article.

This from Healthline. 

Living with bipolar disorder is associated with decreased life expectancy. “Lifestyle factors prevalent among individuals with bipolar disorder — such as increased rates of smoking, substance use, poor dietary habits, and a sedentary lifestyle — pose additional risks for chronic illnesses,” Jensen says.

Compounding it all, he adds, are the natural mental health challenges that come from living with bipolar disorder, such as chronic stress, medication side effects, and suicidal ideation.

A 2023 reviewTrusted Source found that suicide was the leading cause of specific premature mortality among people living with bipolar disorder.

Brent Metcalf, a licensed clinical social worker from Kingsport, Tennessee, explains that the heightened risk of suicide stems from the intense mood shifts, impulsivity, and hopelessness that often characterize the condition.

More Poetry

I miss the person I was. The life I had. 

I hope you're in a decent place. I wouldn't wish this shit upon anyone.

Ask and you shall not receive - Unreleased version

 

A new discovery

In 2013 I made multiple version of the video poem, Ask. I was insecure about using my voice and ending up using a professional voice over artist, named Kabir Singh from the U.S. 

I came across this version when looking at the early versions of the Caged Without Walls trailers.

So I thought, being a decade old now, I would share it with you. Ask and you shall not receive. 

My voiceover version

Original 2013 version

A.J. Langford Books

Are you a Dreamer? - A Video

 

Are you / were you a Dreamer?

Oh boy, I was. For most of my life, especially when young. Is dreaming natural for all or only for some?

The Dreamers. Summed up in this video I put together from one of my poems. 

Watch on YouTube HERE

Or if on a laptop, tablet, below;

More Videos

More Poetry

A.J. Langford Books

My 'great' unpublished novel - Will it ever see the light of day?

  

My unpublished Young Adult Novel (s)

A killer energy ring has surrounded the City. It’s closing in fast, but when the Entities show up, the real massacre begins!  

The two images are covers I made for my two novel Young Adult dystopian series. (One story, two books). I tried to get them published for years, to no avail. I was very proud of them both and thought they'd make an excellent movie, (or two). I was planning to self-publish at some point in the future. Not sure if I will now but thought it interesting to share the covers. Created them around 2009. Novels were written from 2005-'07. I had such high hopes for them. Hence why I held out, hoping a publisher would take them on. Makes me very sad but that's the life of the creative. 

At the risk of sounding miserable (and trite), my 'career' as an author has been 95% disappointment. You need to have a very thick skin to deal with the rejections and lack of interest. My skin ain't as thick as it used to be so I've taken a step back since my last book in 2022. Mentally been on the decline for years (anti-depressant withdrawal a big part of it, the story here), so feels beyond my reach at present. Probably a good lesson in there. Don't put things off!  I really do hope to return to it at some point but not in the foreseeable future. 

In the meantime, there are published books and many videos and downloads that are available right now! 

A.J. Langford Books